I love the end of the year because it’s a natural time of reflection. What did I accomplish this year? What do I want to do next year? Some of the holiday activities naturally lend themselves to good thinking time. I was especially reflective the other day when I spent the morning putting together IKEA furniture for my kids’ Christmas presents.
Typically, a tandem project putting together furniture is a quick way to start a five-alarm, totally pointless argument. “You put it on backwards.” “That doesn’t go there!” “Why don’t these holes line up?” But on that particular day, our kids were out at a party, the house was quiet and festive, and we were in good spirits. Even when my husband reached for the directions and established himself as Project Manager of the Student Desk, I took it in stride and became self-appointed Queen of the Only Philips Head Screwdriver. I put on some good music- Lazarusman. All was copasetic.
I consider myself a bit of an expert on IKEA furniture assembly. Because of my 20’s. I can rightfully claim having moved my place of residence every six months during the early part of that decade. Characterizing me as nomadic would be wrong though. I didn’t really have wanderlust back then. What I did have was a costly habit of looking around me, finding my circumstances lacking, and tossing the whole thing up in the air to start over again. I moved to get away from the wrong roommate, the wrong relationship, the wrong job. When one thing was going wrong, I’d throw out the whole lot and start from scratch. I was fearless. I was ruthless. I was . . . spending a lot of time buying and assembling IKEA furniture.
Every time I moved, I nested. My living space had to be warm and inviting. (And if I’m honest, probably a bit messy and disorganized.) This was a particularly challenging goal, given that I often moved with only what would fit in my silver Ford Focus. Black garbage bags were my go-to moving boxes. If I was really lucky, a friend with a truck would drag my bed to the next landing place. This meant that every time I moved, I also took a trip to IKEA for new furnishings.
On this Saturday morning so many years later, I began to feel nostalgic as I lined up the holes and fitted in all the wooden pegs. I thought about that 22-year-old woman and marveled at her past choices. What was I really seeking back then, and why? How was I so fearless about all of that change? These days, with my cozy house and my snug little family, it’s much harder to think about even the smallest changes. I’m content and rather complacent. It may take me months to decide to change shampoos, much less change something as big as where I live. Where did all of my change mojo go?
I’ve been chewing on that question ever since. Why has my desire for the new and novel shifted so much? I think part of it is that I’ve refined my recipe for a happy life. I don’t need to change so much anymore. I love my partner, and my job, and my house. And even my littlest roommates, though they drive me bonkers during the winter break from school. I don’t miss all of the uncertainty and angst of my 20’s. Yet I’m a bit nostalgic for the thrill of tossing things up in the air and seeing where they land.
What parts of that way of being could I bring into this stable, contented version of my life? The answer for me is three new things.
I’ve decided that at the beginning of every new year, I’ll set the intention of trying at least three new things. One in the work I do, one in health/fitness, and one in leisure/fun.
This feels like the right amount of change for this stage of my life. And unlike a New Year’s Resolution, it has nothing to do with what I think I should change. There’s no guilt or self-judgment around it. It’s purely for the enjoyment of shaking things up a bit and trying something new. It’s a tribute to that woman in her 20’s who tossed everything up in the air and went back to IKEA every six months.
What amount of change feels right in this version of your life?
If you could try three new things next year, what would they be?
Wishing all of you a relaxing and fun holiday season, and a new year with just the right amount of change.