The Coaching Advantage: Four Skills That Elevate Your Leadership
Have you ever worked for a leader who was a great coach? In all the years I spent in corporate HR, I had just one manager who took a coaching approach to leadership.
The first time he asked me a coaching question, it completely threw me off.
It was midday, and I dropped into his office to talk about a new employee relations issue. The situation was complex and involved several employees. I asked him what he thought I should do about it. He stood there in front of his whiteboard and put the question back to me. “Well, what do you think you should do?” he asked. Then he just stopped talking. And stared at me. I stared back uncomfortably, running through the variety of answers he might be looking for. “Well, I could go back to the manager and tell them to have a follow-up conversation with the employees.” He gave me a look of encouragement, but did not respond. “Or, I could step in and talk to the involved employees myself,” I continued.
We went on to analyze the merits of several different approaches. I did most of the talking. At the end, I decided the next steps. I walked out of his office feeling surprised and also empowered. I had learned far more from the exchange than I would have if he had told me what to do.
Up to that point in my career, I had been the one asking the questions and my manager had always responded with their advice.
Working under this leader changed things. He slowed down and asked questions that gave me space to think for myself. I learned that I was very capable of analyzing the situation and making a good decision. He frequently coached me through new issues, and I developed rapidly under his leadership.
He was the best manager I ever had.
When was the last time someone asked you a good coaching question? (This is an open-ended question that makes you stop and think in a new way.) Conversely, how often do you use these kinds of techniques with your direct reports?
I believe that if every leader adopted four basic coaching skills, it would transform the way companies run. Employees would develop quickly, show more initiative, experience greater productivity and stay with companies longer. Yes, this is a bold statement. But if you’ve had the opportunity to work under a leader who was also a great coach, you probably believe this as well.
If you want to improve your leadership, the most effective way to do it is to develop your coaching skills. These include:
Listening deeply. How often do you sit down with a member of your team and free yourself from all distractions? Are you listening intently to understand, or are you waiting for your turn to talk? When you take the time to really listen, the quality of your conversations improves and your relationships with employees deepen.
Asking great questions. A well-timed question can transform the conversation and open up thinking. By asking rather than telling, you help your employees discover answers for themselves and feel empowered to take action.
Acknowledging: When you mirror back what you’ve heard, it helps to clarify and ensures that you are both on the same page. This is also a great way to make your employee feel seen and heard.
Validating: This coaching skill is particularly effective when your employee comes to you upset about something. Validating lets the employee know that it’s ok to feel the way they do. This helps them move past the negative emotions so that the two of you can work towards solving the problem.
You don’t need to become a fully certified coach in order to incorporate coaching techniques into your leadership. All you need to do is practice these four skills. The best way to develop basic coaching skills is to work with a coach. I’ve learned a great deal from the manager I had years ago, and from hiring a coach myself.
If you’d like to explore coaching with me, schedule time with me here.
If you would like your team to adopt these skills, consider my leadership development workshop called Communicate Like a Coach. It’s an opportunity to see demonstrations and practice hands-on.
To schedule a workshop for your company, email me at loala@intrinsincnow.com.
