Why Most Leaders Struggle with Candid Feedback—and How to Get Better at It
Do you struggle with providing candid feedback to your employees? Most leaders do. I had a boss once who could say just about anything to me because I trusted him. I took his feedback and advice, and he didn’t have to mince words.
Better yet, I could say just about anything to him because our trust went both ways. The way he built this foundation of open feedback may surprise you. Let me give you an example.
I used to have a designated snack drawer at work. It was in a big bottom drawer of this massive old desk I occupied. As a working mom with a demanding job in corporate HR, I often had to work through lunch and eat whatever was in the drawer.
On one such day, I had been grazing from the snack drawer when my 1:00 meeting showed up early. An employee I hadn’t met before, who was having a difficult time with a colleague and had asked for my help mediating the situation. I stood up to greet her, stepping forward to shake her hand. Unfortunately, I never reached her because I tripped and my legs went up over my head.
I had left that darn the snack drawer open and it obstructed my path. I hit it full on with both shins and then went toppling into a heap on the other side of the drawer. It would have been hilarious if it didn’t hurt so much. Picking myself up, I attempted to resume the introduction without too much embarrassment. We sat down and had a discussion. As I listened to her concerns, my shins throbbed and when she started to cry, I felt like joining her.
At the end of our meeting, I got up and went to update my boss on something urgent. He took one look at my bruised shins and pale face and told me to sit down immediately. Apparently, I looked as bad off as I felt. He told his next meeting he would be late and went to find two ice packs and some ibruprofen. In short, he made sure that I was taken care of when I was doing a poor job of taking care of myself.
This boss was one of the best I ever had. He was a great leader in part because he understood the importance of showing caring to his employees. The jobs we did were important to him, but they were second in importance to who we were and how we were doing.
The snack drawer incident was just one example.
He consistently did a number of things to show that he cared about us.
Asking about our families, friends and interests. Remembering details and following up with us.
Committing to our one-on-one meeting times and starting them by asking how we were doing.
Focusing his attention and really listening when we talked.
Reinforcing the importance of our personal lives by granting flexibility and time away.
Covering for us when we needed additional help and support.
These are small acts of caring, and they also go a long way.
When leaders show personal caring to their employees, it creates a foundation of trust that leads to:
Greater team engagement and motivation
Faster decision making
The open flow of feedback that is timely and actionable
According to Ken Blanchard’s ABCD Trust Model, connection is one of the four key factors in building trust. Showing caring is an important part of building that vital connection. The most impactful leadership action you can take to improve the open flow of feedback is to show personal caring to each of your direct reports. Lead by example and foster it across the team.
And when the entire team shows this kind of caring and trust, that’s when the real magic happens.
If you’re looking to boost trust across your team and benefit from the open flow of actionable feedback, reach out to me. I facilitate a full day workshop on Team Trust that breaks down the four key elements of building trust and teaches you the practical things they you do to increase your own trustworthiness.
I’m happy to share more about my coaching work with individuals, as well as with teams, what my clients have to say, and problems I’ve helped my clients solve over the years.
Please contact me directly here:
Loala McCann is an Executive Coach who specializes in working with women in leadership. Her clients often come to her when they’re stressed out and losing sleep over a major transition: an intimidating set of new responsibilities, a new team with tough dynamics, challenging company growth, looming retirement and more.
Coaching is an excellent resource for individual leaders to regain their footing during a challenging period. It’s also the best option for a team in need of recalibration.
For more on Loala’s coaching philosophy, the story of how she transitioned from corporate HR executive to coach, and why she does what she does, click here.
